Beyond antidisestablishmentarianism…

How many letters are in the longest word around? If you guess “a lot,” you’re right!

1913 words, to be exact! Find out what in the world it is (and others you can impress your friends and neighbors with here.

Rejected Marketing Slogans for National Poetry Month

BY EMILY LLOYD

– – – –

Nobody Doesn’t Like “Annabel Lee”

What Can Browning Do for You?

Get the Door: It’s “Endymion”!

With a Name Like Hicok, It’s Got to Be Good

Live in Your World. Play in Marianne Moore’s.

Bring Out “The Hollow Men” and Bring Out the Best

I’m Lovin’ It

~ from McSweeney’s

Dorothy Allison’s in town!!

Just wanted to remind everyone that the fourth event of the Spring
2008 CAROLINA NOVELISTS SERIES cosponsored by the Institute for
Southern Studies and the Friends of the Richland County Public Library
is on Monday, March 31 at 6 PM.

Our guest on Monday is DOROTHY ALLISON, the acclaimed author of TRASH,
BASTARD OUT OF CAROLINA, and CAVEDWELLER. 

Her accolades include, among others,  the Robert Penn Warren Award and an ALA Award for
Lesbian and Gay Writing, and she has been a finalist for the National
Book Award and the Lillian Smith Award.  BASTARD OUT OF CAROLINA and
CAVEDWELLER have been made into films. 

 Allison is also a poet.

This event is free and open to the public and will take place in the
Bostick Auditorium of the Richland County Public Library.  Following
the author’s remarks, there will be a book-signing and reception.  The
Happy Bookseller will have books available for sale at the reading.

 

A poem a day keeps ___ away!

Dear Poetry Lover,

Ten years ago we began a Knopf tradition. To celebrate National Poetry Month, we sent a poem a day by e-mail for 30 days to anyone who asked to receive them. Now, with over 35,000 subscribers, we are proud to continue with a whole new series of daily poems. Each day during the month of April you will receive a poem from some of the best poets in the world including Mark Strand, Mary Jo Salter, Julia Hartwig, and Richard Kenney, as well as classics from Frank O’Hara, Rudyard Kipling, Kenneth Koch and more. This year, we’ll also be featuring special podcasts, gorgeous printable broadsides, and signed books.

If you know of someone who might like to join the Poem-a-Day party, they may visit http://www.randomhouse.com/knopf/poetry/poemaday/ to sign up.

Best Wishes,

Jason Kincade, Knopf New Media
knopfpoetry@randomhouse.com

Interested in journalism?

The USC School of Journalism’s 2008 Region 3 Spring conference is scheduled for March 28-29, 2008, at the Courtyard Marriott downtown.  

The title of this year’s conference is “Preparing for Tomorrow’s Newsrooms Today.”   If you’re interested, please call the point of contact at USC (777-3325) or come to the English Dept., where the beautiful woman behind the pretty flowers has more information you can read.

Want to learn more about Darfur?

“From the Classroom to the Streets:

 Putting My CC Degree to Work for Social Justice.”  

Columbia College alumna

Lindsey Wilkes,

Founder of the South Carolina Save Darfur Action Group and GenEd, a non-profit organization which educates the community about the issues of genocide, will offer a presentation

Date: Wednesday, March 19

Time: 7:00 p.m.

Location: BLC 201-202

There will be a reception immediately following the presentation.  

The convention of a lifetime: “Necessary Contradictions.”

By Helana Brigman, English Major Extraordinaire

Once Upon a Wednesday, (March 12, 2008), eleven English majors–Susie Ball, Helāna Brigman, Courtney Eason, Jessica Merten, Cathy Miller, Sara O’Lena, Leslie Roesler, Jerrie Sanders, Michelle Shirley, Tracy Skinner, and Hanna Jordan Thayer–and one professor, Dr. Christine Hait, embarked on the convention of a lifetime, “Necessary Contradictions,” the 2008 International conference for Sigma Tau Delta.

Wielding coffee in one hand, the steering wheel (and many red buttons) under the other, Dr. Hait bravely drove where no English Department faculty has driven before: Louisville, KY with a big ol’ bus. (PLEASE NOTE: this doesn’t mean that Dr. Hait drove one handed during the entire trip. She is a very responsible bus driver with an innate skill for 3-point turns J ).

After 8-10 hours of driving, many coffee/candy/pee pee stops and attempts to highlight novels on a bumpy road, everyone arrived safely at the Downtown Marriott in Louisville. Room assignments were made, the bus was parked, and Dr. Z took us on a long walk for Mexican food. Mmmmm mmmm.

When the conference began the next day, MAGIC HAPPENED: people were talking about literature everywhere we went and our Columbia College women were among the brightest, nerdiest, and shiniest of hair.

I was very lucky and presented my paper about Victorian women as witches in literature on Thursday with a group of feminists and one biologist. After we all read our papers, Dr. Nancy Tuten, our moderator, helped generate audience discussion. Dr. Z asked some very interesting questions, and I got to talk to and listen to people talk about literature, gender roles, female power, and evolution.

I am officially of the disposition that I have the best major EVER. There was also this very handsome musical man in the audience who used the words “foment” and “vectors” correctly. Dr. Z and Dr. Tuten say that he’s a keeper.

At the same time, Jerrie presented her paper “The Creativity of Women” and made us all very proud. Afterwards, Courtney presented her short story, “The Other Side of Things” and jarred some interesting discussions on the difference between “Running as fast as you can” and “Running as fast as you freaking* can” (* = censorship). Her story reminded me of a chapter from Kerouac’s On the Road. Only, the star was a Courtney-esque heroine and not an over drugged member of the Beat Generation.

The next day, Sara O’Lena presented her piece “Happy Women Without Men: It Is Possible” to a full room including members of her family. Susie presented on her piece of creative non-fiction “The Bond Between a Woman and Her Shoes.” I wasn’t able to attend the reading, but I’ve read the piece before and I hear it went over incredibly well with the audience! During this same time, Hanna presented her poem “Doormat” and Michelle presented her poem “A Brand New Day.” Both of our poets were very well received.

On Saturday, Cathy presented in TWO panels and gave everyone insight on reflective writing and the history of grammar. The reflective writing panel included work with Michelle, Dr. Hait, and Dr. Z. Tracy Skinner also presented twice in the same day as well: “A Deconstructionist Reading of Stephen Crane’s ‘The Open Boat’” and “where we are and where we might be headed” in the Grammar panel.

Jessica absorbed all of Kurt Vonnegut’s writings in one night and presented a paper on “Humor in the Great Depression” while also whipping out her Vonnegut knowledge at a second’s notice. They grow ‘em tough and literary in Wisconsin!

After a very busy and stimulating few days, our group (minus Z and Tuten) got gussied up for the big banquet (also known as the really good free meal you get at the conference). The food was awesome, the cheese cake was better, and Michelle Shirley rocked our socks off by singing a couple of songs with a very prestigious Louisville quartet! We all went to the front of the room to hear her sing (she is an amazing soprano) and before we knew it, other STD members were gathered around commenting on “how good” she was.

Michelle is now a celebrity in literary circles. Ask her for an autograph when you see her next!

The evening came to a close with an extensive awards ceremony and really good coffee. Dr. Hait was even recognized for her 10 year anniversary as our chapter’s sponsor!

The next day, Dr. Hait drove us out of a two-day snow storm and back into the warm 60s of Columbia. On the way, we stopped at a Cracker Barrel just north of Knoxville where everyone ate up delicious Southern food and listened to Joyce, our sweet waitress, talk about how they had PIE. I bought a coffee cup with udders on its bottom and we arrived safely and happy in Columbia.

For every major but Sara, this was the last STD conference we would attend as Columbia College students and I think we were sobered by the idea and ten hours on the road. It was sad to break up the group after five days of sisterly bonding, but we parted with happy thoughts about naps and loved ones.

OnWord + Natalie Brown

Be at H2O on March 5, 2008 for Phoenix Tongue Open Mic for our special event will be a “Women of The Arts Showcase” This interdisciplinary cultural event will highlight the Art Form of Music, Dance and Poetry demonstrated by the many Artistic Women of Columbia, along with a few surprises.

This Showcase will be hosted by Kendal Turner. Look forward to Open Mic at 8 PM. Showcase will be for an hour beginning at 8:45 PM. Then follow with a lightening round Open Mic set to close out the Evening.

http://www.myspace.com/SilDagPromotion

Also performing will be Natalie Brown, of Delerium Troupe and Alternacirque – tribal bellydance extraordinaire!

http://www.myspace.com/columbiaalternacirque

Be heard, be scene celebrate your voice and women’s history!

Opportunities a-knockin’!

If you’re a poet 21+, Verse Works is tonight!

 Catch us at the Art Bar, starting 8:30 pm.

Get your open mic on, then chase it with a tall cool glass of slam.

Come compete for cash, prizes, and bragging rights (minus the cash and prizes), or put on your judgin’ hat and help hand out the honors.

It’s always fun, it’s always free, and we want to see YOU there.

Where: The Art Bar (1201 Park Street in the Vista, Columbia)
When: 8:30 until 10:30, slam starts @ 9:30
How much: FREE, baby!

What is “Modern Love?” The N.Y. Times is holding an essay contest. Go to nytimes.com/essay for details!

Valentine’s Day- ruminations on a holiday by Michele, Administrative Mythic Heroine

A lot of my friends (the bitter, single ones) bah humbug Valentine’s Day – or “VD Day,” as some of us like to call it.  “It’s a made up holiday! Consumeristic BS foisted upon a hapless public by the greeting card industry.” 

Well, duh. So is Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day – even Halloween has cards, now. Let’s be honest. Who wakes up Christmas morning thinking, “I can’t wait to get to church and celebrate the Christ in Christmas!” Who spends Thanksgiving in prayer, as it was established for, rather than spending it in pain, from overeating? 

It might be a day of Kay’s Diamond-whoring and chocolate ad nauseum now, but let’s learn a bit more about this scarlet-hued day of remembered romance:

The History Channel (for those of you math majors who might be reading, and don’t want things to get too wordy – or history nerds with a thing for men in armor) has a three-minute, splendid life-action telling of the holiday’s bloody origins (link will open in a new window):

“But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine’s Day — and its patron saint — is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite?“

But what’s all this about sex slaves??

“For eight hundred years prior to the establishment of Valentine’s Day, the Romans had practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February commemorating young men’s rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The celebration featured a lottery in which young men would draw the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl assigned to each young man in that manner would be his sexual companion during the remaining year.“

Valentine’s Day, like so many Christian holidays, was usurped in the hopes of spreading the Good News:

“We owe our observance of Valentine’s day to the ancient Festival of Lupercalia which celebrated erotic love in honor of the Roman goddess Juno. Some experts say that the name of the month February actually comes from the Latin word “febres”, meaning feverish, as in the word “febrile”.  Remember the legend of  Romulus and Remus who were raised as infants by a pack of wolves and grew up to be the founders of Rome…well, supposedly all this childrearing occurred in a cave on the hillside which was called “Lupercallus” or “Wolf-Cave” in translation.

The feast days celebrated the founding of Rome, and a pagan priest led the festivities which included his “whipping” all the women to ensure their fertility.   Another part of the celebration involved a “lottery” in which the names of the unmarried females names were drawn from a hat (or other suitable container) by the available young males and they were “paired” for a period of time, some say a year.  This pairing, of course, being done in honor of Juno, the goddess of love and marriage.”

 

 

And speaking of love and marriage, what’s with the fat baby in the diaper, shooting pointy things at people??

 

 

“In this case it was the Greek god Eros, the son of Aphrodite, the goddess of romance and beauty, and Ares, the god of war. 

Admittedly, Eros was once a bit of a “mamma’s boy” . . . at least until he married Psyche, who managed to make him grow up. As a married man, he had to give up his silly habit of going around shooting everyone with arrows dipped in love potion that made them fall in love with the next person they saw, no matter how ridiculous or impossible the union would be. 

Even so, he was a man, a god, and a power to be reckoned with. Today we mostly recognize him as Cupid, that little fat cherub with the bow and arrows, who was once a handsome and manly god.”

 

One more poetic offering, a many-splendored love song in its adoring simplicity, “Windchimes,” by Tony Hoagland:

 

 

She goes out to hang the windchime
in her nightie and her work boots.
It’s six-thirty in the morning
and she’s standing on the plastic ice chest
tiptoe to reach the crossbeam of the porch,

windchime in her left hand,
hammer in her right, the nail
gripped tight between her teeth
but nothing happens next because
she’s trying to figure out
how to switch #1 with #3.

She must have been standing in the kitchen,
coffee in her hand, asleep,
when she heard it—the wind blowing
through the sound the windchime
wasn’t making
because it wasn’t there.

No one, including me, especially anymore believes
till death do us part,
but I can see what I would miss in leaving—
the way her ankles go into the work boots
as she stands on the ice chest;
the problem scrunched into her forehead;
the little kissable mouth
with the nail in it.

“What is love??”

Frustrated poets and love-struck teens have been tearing their hair out for centuries, looking for the answer – an answer, gentle reader, we have been given from the greatest poet of all time:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, love does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

~1 Corinthians 13:4-7~

Happy Valentine’s Day!